FATSSSA PRESS -- University of Ibadan, Nigeria

By Joseph Etsevi Former Vice President, Atiku Abubakar has challenged the Presidency to apply the same standards it invoked in comparing Nigeria's anti-corruption efforts with China's to issues surrounding President Bola Tinubu's past forfeiture case in the United States. Reacting to comments from the Presidency, Atiku argued that rather than presenting the comparison with China as a political advantage, the government should consider how Chinese authorities would respond to the circumstances surrounding the $460,000 forfeited to the United States Government in a civil forfeiture case linked to allegations of narcotics trafficking and money laundering. According to Atiku, China's reputation for uncompromising enforcement of drug-related offences suggests that such a forfeiture would be regarded not as the conclusion of a matter, but as the beginning of a thorough criminal investigation. Expanding his criticism beyond the forfeiture issue, the former Vice Pre...

By LuckyRacer At the FHR sitting that held on the 31st of July, 2017. The suspended President, Mr Jones Ogelekeme, who among other executive members had been summoned to appear before the house in order to abreast the situation which has brought the association into disrepute among which were claims that the suspended President absconded with over a million naira of the association's money coupled with his absence saw new revelations being revealed. We would recall that the suspended President had been accused of carting away with over a million naira of fatsssaites' money. He, however, disclaimed this allegation explicitly saying that he had issues with SARS off campus and that his absence triggered unfair assumptions and his unconstitutional suspension. According to him "if at all I find myself in SARS custody, it was because of what I did outside, not what I did on campus. It concerns no man" . He further stated that "I came back, I told you what I ...

Don’t call me a fine gentleman when I hold out the door for you. Don’t think for a quarter of a second that I’ll ever live up to what that word suggests should you eventually agree to abolish that horrible family name of yours in exchange for a better one, mine; because when you eventually do (which you would in the end), I would not only make you pay for making this

EDITORIAL Long ago, before this breed of demigods of impunity arrived our erstwhile ordered social enclave of high values and superior morality, we had a Fatsssa, or what used to be called FSSSA. Perhaps the change of name should be blamed for birthing this strange phase in Fatsssa. Unlike the glorious past where we had leaders, who though not necessarily perfect, had a highly efficient moral compass, what we have today in Fatsssa is a total sham. What we have now are men who can’t give their word and stand by it. Men who just make promises to assuage the masses for a short period of time. Men whose wisdom have become deceit. Unfortunately, these are the words that describe Fatsssa right now. We are tired of keeping mute, we are tired of bearing with the nonchalance that pervades us. It calls for great concern that fact that it seems this executive council is running away from accountability. For over Four weeks now, the President, Mr Jones Ogelekeme has promised to furnish us wi...

By Lucky Racer In recent times, we have heard the songs of change sang by our leaders but we have been made to dance to the tunes of pain. While we keep hearing the sounds of change, the change our hearts desire has continued to elude us. While we strive to fight our greatest enemy, our leaders only make a mockery of the fight. As we continue to device one of the world's best practices in our fight against the menace that has eaten deep into our sub consciousness, our leaders have continued to show us that we cannot catchup with world's best practices. According to the Vanguard of 21st December, 2016; the minister of finance Mrs. Kemi Adeosun made known that the whistle blowing policy was aimed at consolidating the ongoing anti-corruption campaign embarked upon by the present administration, and that a bill will soon be passed to that effect. No doubt the whistle blowing policy is certainly a right step in the right direction as in recent times we have withnessed posit...

By R.G.H Shebi you people know I don’t write on a normal day, but the Yorubas say if the dog that sees you before and doesn’t bark, now sees you and started barking, then something is amiss. In the same vein, if the taste of the palm wine changes, the drinking pattern of my drinking self should change. In an Egungun Festival, once the tune of the music changes, my dance step must also change. I think it’s high time I let the cat out of the bag, or is it basket they call it? The attitude of our people these days is becoming more worrisome such that their disappointment and tendency to disappoint is not new again. All we look forward to as we open the new chapter of a new day is ‘will the disappointment of today be higher than that of yesterday? Or ‘will I have something new entirely today’? But in as much as humans are concerned, disappointment is inevitable, constant disappointment is what we all should endeavor to eliminate. There is this particular lady, I know some of you w...

By Prof Gee No politician would resist making promises he won’t keep, if it gets him popular support. And as far as promises go, students in the faculty of the social sciences have heard one too many from different politicians who only raise students hopes so high that when they’re finally dashed, the effects are usually unforgettable and almost irreparable. And with the lifting of the ban on political campaign by the electoral commission and the resultant official opening of the political arena for gladiatorial battle of words and wits, the mill of promises has been opened once again for action, this time at the students’ union level. And with faces brimming endlessly with smiles and hands that are handshake ready, this set of politicians are out to conquer your hearts with bold statements and BIG promises (no matter how empty or unrealistic they may seem, who cares – as far as it does the job of convincing you to vote?) The end is what matters and that is victory at the polls...

By Lucky Racer We are in the part of the world where religion comes to play in virtually all sectors of the society. The poor man is entangled in so much animosity with his poor fellow while the rich keeps exploiting them. I imagine how the poor man has lost his sense of reasoning and humanity to the fallacies built-up in religion. Several activities are undertaken under the guise of religion and religious organisations are fast becoming solace points for unscrupulous elements. It is somewhat debatable that most extremisms across the world is consequent upon the fallacies built-up in religion by the rich. They are weapons in the hands of the rich to maintain the status quo. The poor man seeks to attain the unattainable, he struggles to realise the unrealisable, and in the process, he loses his mind to the unpalatable and unavoidable consequence of his folly. The fallacies built-up in these religious beliefs result in a docile masses. The masses see the rich as unquestionable a...

“A good leader should be quick to say “I’m sorry” but a leader who says “I’m sorry” too often is as incapable as the handicapped” – Anonymous “It is better not to offer an excuse than a bad one” – George Washington Until now, the Adeyemo led administration has not been able to provide a tangible reason as to why people who sat the table for six were not catered for. In his usual fashion, he has resorted to word dribble giving no clear answers. From the last conversation the Press had with Mr President, some things were clear – some of which we already knew. Not only does he lack cohesion in his team, he’s considerably lackadaisical. How can the President of FATSSSA be totally clueless on the type security provided for the Dinner? The baseless excuse given was that it was the Social director’s responsibility to get security. Mr President please look up the word, “ oversee ” and check your constitution again. Both the President and the Social director gave conflicting re...

Her waist was encircled In your arms. She laughed, mouth agape, as your fingers danced with delight, Atop her belly button. Your intrigue held her bound Like a spell. But it was you who was under a spell. You watched her undo her covering And your eyes were fed full. Yet something in you, Stronger than you, wanted more! So you plunged forward with desire. You felt her tenderness And you couldn't stop the thoughts, Nor the actions that followed. The experience was ecstatic Yet you felt empty afterwards. Adigun's description of the feeling, of the unimaginable experience All turned out to be an oversell! You pick up you clothes, Make for the door But you're drawn back by her allure Like a serpent, you glide your way Next to her unsheathed body. You'd rather feel empty One more time. Or two more, Or many more times. © GIFT UZOR (PROF GEE)

There are a lot of things we experience in our bodies that actually require less effort than we put into them. Nature has furnished us with all that we need to live healthy lives. God has made it easy for us to access nature. We have a lot of natural remedies available to us, which are even easier on the body than synthetic drugs that are more chemical and sometimes detrimental to our bodies. Having said this, I do not dispute that we have need for prescribed drugs; I only mean to make us aware that life can be a lot easier than chemical compositions. One of the most efficient nature drugs is lemon according to the American Urological Association. Lemon is native to Asia and contains Vitamin C, B6, A, E foliate, niacin, thiamin, riboflavin, pantothenic acid, copper, calcium, iron, magnesium, potassium, protein, phosphorus and zinc.  Lemon has been put to different uses including culinary (it has been used as lemonade, marianades for fish, meat tenderizers, preservatives and ga...

I hate to come off didactic especially because I don’t fancy being considered a preacher. Despite my dislike for the preacher tag however, I must put forth to my dear readers what the fathers have laid in the tables of my heart to share with them this week. This week, I won't be talking about my roommates or about the over-flogged issue of the Olayimika’s error ridden first months. I won’t even be talking about the Students Union election which seems to be the subject of every discussion now. I would rather let my ink flow in a different direction. The fathers would have me talk about me. About my first start up (which never happened) with the hope that you won’t make the same mistake I made. I must state categorically that before Jumia or Konga, there existed (in my head), ShopNow. Whether you believe it or yes, ShopNow was born out of the desire to see Nigerians shop for local goods online, pay in naira and have their goods delivered to them in no time. ShopNow couldn...

It is not always that I set out just to talk about other people but this week, a freshman’s remark about his roommates dug up old memories which before now I had thought were buried deep down in the abyss of my overcrowded memory. Memories whose existence I had grown oblivious to. Memories of gentle John (our loyal doormat), memories of dirty Jide, memories of talking Timothy, memories of my 100 level days, those few months I spent in the same room with three (until now), total strangers. I couldn’t just stop the picture of Jide from crawling into my conscious mind the moment that freshman remarked: “I don’t know how to handle Tolu my roommate, the guy is too dirty!” Unlike every person unfortunate to have encountered him, I never really considered Jide a dirty boy per say. I considered him a special person, one that needed to be understood. Jide could go a week without touching water and you would barely notice, all thanks to his loyal Nivea body spray.

The walk from Awo hall to the Youth Friendly centre on Tech Road was the longest Gloria had ever embarked on since she became a student of UI. Awo to YFC shouldn’t take one more than ten minutes but Gloria spent almost thirty minutes before she could get to YFC. Her mind travelled to the different “fun” she had had in the past. The nights she spent at clubs, the days she stabbed classes just to enjoy the erotic sensation with guys on campus, The one night stands she had to avoid being bored, and above all, the test she was about to undergo at the YFC. To make

Admission into federal universities in Nigeria never comes without a price tag. It is either the entrance exam is unreasonably tough or you’ll have to “settle” your way in. In other cases where you get admitted by merit, as in the University of Ibadan, you’ll have to pay in some other way – Stress! From the day you secure admission into Unibadan, you struggles begin! The good thing however, is that this stress won’t kill you but prepare you for the mainstream world. Besides, others have passed through this system and are still alive to tell the story.

This topic might seem strange, but as strange as it seems, the reality of you unconsciously harming yourself is not far-fetched. Most of us unconsciously do things that will leave us winding up unhappy in life. Our world view is loaded with faulty ideas in its lots and it doesn’t take ‘too’ long for us to realize we’ve spent the most part of our lives living on the wrong side of life – some don’t ever realize this