STOP KILLING YOURSELF


This topic might seem strange, but as strange as it seems, the reality of you unconsciously harming yourself is not far-fetched. Most of us unconsciously do things that will leave us winding up unhappy in life. Our world view is loaded with faulty ideas in its lots and it doesn’t take ‘too’ long for us to realize we’ve spent the most part of our lives living on the wrong side of life – some don’t ever realize this
till they are close their grave.
In order to escape this web of self-destruct however, one has to dig deep, look within and re-structure one’s philosophies of life. We might want to part ways with some false ideas- especially those we hold unto tenaciously – and stop killing ourselves. You might want to ask, how am I killing myself?

BEING SOMEONE ELSE
The thing about dropping the real you and assuming a whole new role alien to you, is that you are saying that the real you is not good enough – and what better way is there to kill one’s self than that. You feel you have to be someone else to be accepted. This is false! “If people don’t like you for who you are, you are simply in the wrong company”- Chris Ellis. It’s hard when not everyone is like you, this gives you a hard time fitting in, and hence you take up the personality mask. I have to tell you however that, only a few people are like you. You’re not like anyone else and shouldn’t expect to be. Go find your group, people who share the same ideas.

FIGHTING YOURSELF
“My nose is too big” “I am not good enough” “I don’t think I’ll ever be better than this”
Most of us waste otherwise useful time picking on ourselves, killing ourselves with the bad things we think of ourselves. A wise man once said: “you don’t go into a battle with your dagger pointing inwards” You don’t need to help stupid people cut you up. You think those thoughts because someone has told you so. People who tell you these things are not your friends. Your friends shouldn’t make you love yourself any less, ditch people who make you feel worthless!

BEING AFRAID TO FAIL
Sadly, almost all of us are afraid of failing. We take extra care and avoiding taking risks oblivious of the fact that we are taking a greater risk by not taking risks. The problem with people, as I have come to realize is that most people don’t know the definition of failure. Failure is not the absence of mistakes. Failure is quitting, it is stopping. Thomas Edison had over ten thousand tries on the light bulb before he got a breakthrough. When asked how it felt to have failed that much, he replied, “I never failed, it just happened to be a ten thousand step journey” Don’t be scared of failure, get out there and do your thing.

BLAMING OTHERS
If there’s meant to always be someone to blame for anything that happens to you, it’s you. You are responsible for whatever happens to you. Your friend pushed you into doing something bad, well, you let them! You have to stop finger pointing! You cause the good and bad things that happen to you, you just have to fix the bad things and get on with life. You have to take responsibility for what happens to you.

BEING ENVIOUS
People who are envious seek to tear down those who have something they don’t have and want. When you destroy someone else, you destroy yourself. Call it the boomerang effect, that’s the truth about life. If you like something about someone, go to that person and learn from them. You don’t have to hate on them because they have what you don’t.

HAVING FIXED IDEAS ABOUT THINGS
A fixed idea can be as simple as “all Igbos are fraudsters”
If you don’t look at things critically, you won’t know the truth about them. The world itself is dynamic and not evasive to change. Things change. People change. If you don’t see things as they really are, it’s a pity you’re living a lie. Probe things, test those old beliefs and see if they hold water, if not, they are better suited for the trash. 

There are so many ways you might have been killing yourself without knowing it. The way out of this like I stated earlier is constant review of your world views, a constant re-examination of your daily routine. Critical thinking should govern your actions and only till then would you enjoy life in its entirety. Till we meet again next time, keep this in mind: nobody is responsible for your happiness in life, just you.

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