FOLLOW FOLLOW

By Osarennoma Ogbeide

There are two sides of a coin. Peer pressure is the direct influence on people by peers, or the effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow their peers by changing their attitudes, values or behaviours to conform to those of the influencing group or individual. The effect could either be positive or negative and it is left to the custodian of the coin to pick which side he so desires.

Before I dive into the sea of examples, it is important to note that peer pressure could be direct- where someone is literally telling you what to do; indirect- where your group of friends do things you ordinarily would not do outside of that circle and self-motivated- this is like self-pressure (putting pressure on yourself) to fit with others because of what they say or standards you want to keep up with; how unhealthy!

Tomi is a  300 level computer science student. She is known to be rather quiet but friendly. Two of her friends asked her why she never goes for TDB ( reading till day break) she told them it just wasn’t her style. She preferred reading during the day in the library instead. They went on and on convincing her how TDB is the best reading plan and would be better for her. Tomi finally gave in to their coaxing and started going for TDB. It was hard for her because she was always battling with sleep, letting the desires of her tired eyes have their way. She ended up not achieving anything but spent the night sleeping with her books on her chest on uncomfortable library chairs.

Uche just got a new job at a marketing firm and his colleagues were fond of adulating the boss in order to gain preference among others. Uche did not subscribe to this until one day his great marketing pitch was rejected and his confidence ran down a ladder. He approached his colleagues for “help”. Without hesistation, they gave him different suggestions on how to suck up to the boss. Very convenient he thought, “but it’s just at work sha”.

Mrs Johnson pressures her son to study medicine because she wants to be known as ‘Iya doctor’. Like that was not enough, she made an anthem for her daughter reminding her that she was not getting any younger. "Iya Michael has brought invitation for her last childs wedding and you’ve not even brought any man home!” …“all my friends have cars given to them by their in-laws, when will I get mine oh?” Comments like those are very frustrating and could cause her daughter to either marry wrongly or look for any means to buy a car just to satisfy her mum and her friends.

Let’s not be like Tomi, Uche, Mrs Johnson or the people that lured them into doing what they ordinarily wouldn’t do. Instead let’s pick the positive side of the coin. Let your peers motivate you to achieving your goals through the right means. What works for Uche might not work for Tomi, so there’s no need to shove your way of doing things down another person’s throat. Pursue your own interest and hang out with similar minds. Respect other people’s views so that they’ll do likewise. Learn to say no and calmly explain your reasons. Friends don’t always have to agree on everything. Take your stand and defend it; don’t be a follow follow.